Strip Poker


Synopsis

FADE IN.


EXT. COURT-GUYS-MORNING


STEVE, an jock in his mid-twenties, passes the ball
to KELSEY, a nerd about the same age as Steve. Kelsey
goes to the basket, but Steve steals the ball and
swooshes it.


KELSEY
I don't know why I meet you here
every morning.


STEVE
Easy. It's part of your program-
ming.


Kelsey steals the ball back, goes outside the key,
spins back, and bounces it off the backboard for two


KELSEY
Yeah, just like it's in yours
to lose.


Steve picks up the ball.


STEVE
That program is incompatible
with this hardware.


Kelsey charges him.


INT. MALL-GIRLS


CLARICE, an average-looking woman in semi-casual wear,
is shopping with MARGRETTE, a sharp woman in slightly
more professional dress carrying a clipboard.


MARGRETTE
The release is scheduled for
tomorrow. Publicity is ready.


CLARICE
Just wish marketing was. They've
had three months. Did you get
their report.


MARGRETTE
On your desk. They're having
a glitch of some sort.


Margrette makes a note on her clipboard; Clarice picks
up two dresses.


CLARICE
We'll just have to find a way
around it. The lace or the silk?


MARGRETTE
The silk. And the company is
worried about the band's rep.


She puts the lace dress down. She heads for the hats.


CLARICE
I wouldn't. Bad boys and worse
girls always sell well; for a
one-hit wonder, they'll do well.


EXT. COURT-GUYS


Steve dodges a steal by Kelsey.


KELSEY
Not even. The girls think I'm
sexually harassing them, and the
guys aren't really sure what to
think. Clarice coming?


STEVE
No. I sold her to some
sheik last night.


KELSEY
Hope you got a good price.


Steve tries to smack him as Kelsey steals the ball
and lays up.


INT. MALL-GIRLS


Clarice is trying on different hats. Margrette is
taking a call on her cell phone.


MARGRETTE
Marketing is calling about their
glitch.


CLARICE
(she grabs the phone)
Let me. Hello, Bob. (beat)
Tomorrow. (beat) I know, so
talk to the guys in technical.
(beat) I care, but this should
have been dealt with weeks ago.


Static comes from the phone. Clarice hands the phone
back, and picks up two hats.


MARGRETTE
He never does his job. Think
he'll last much longer?


CLARICE
No. In fact, he's on Steve's
short list. I give him about
two weeks. (beat) The straw
or the leather?

MARGRETTE
The leather. Gives the silk an
edge. Set a date yet?

They move to a cash register.

CLARICE
No, neither of us is sure about
taking that next step.

EXT. COURT-GUYS

Steve shoots, misses. Kelsey rebounds, sinking it.

KELSEY
How much longer are you going
to dance around it? People are
talking.

STEVE
They always do.

KELSEY
He waltzes.

STEVE
Do they ever say anything nice?

KELSEY
And quickly moves to a fox-trot.

STEVE
Does it matter?

KELSEY
Swiftly, he grabs his knees for
the Charleston.

STEVE
Okay, no we haven't. We're not
sure of the ramifications, yet.

KELSEY
And he dips. (beat) Either go for it,
or forget it. The two of you
make a good couple.

STEVE
We'll need to talk about it.

Kelsey grabs the ball as Steve talks and makes a
basket.

KELSEY
Talk as long as you want.

STEVE
Thanks for listening!

Steve charges Kelsey.

INT. OFFICE-STEVE-AFTERNOON

Steve walks in, throws a fast-food bag into the
garbage, and walks to his desk. He picks up the phone
and punches in a number.

(NOTE: All the following people are at their own
desks, in different locations, and are on
the phone.)

MARGRETTE
Yes, she's in. Just a moment.

CLARICE
Hey!

STEVE
Ready for tonight?

CLARICE
Yeah, what time does the food
need to be ready?

STEVE
Around 7:30.

CLARICE
Everyone will be casual, right?

STEVE
Right. Oh, and bring someone
from the office.

CLARICE
Kelsey going stag?

STEVE
Does he ever come any other way?

CLARICE
I know someone who needs a little
excitement. I'll try to bring
her.

STEVE
Okay. Seeya.

CLARICE
Of course.

STEVE
Hey, Kelsey!

KELSEY
Yeah?

CLARICE
Margrette?

MARGRETTE
Yes?

STEVE
Did you make plans for tonight?

KELSEY
Yeah.

CLARICE
Are you busy tonight?

MARGRETTE
Yes.

STEVE
Doing what?

KELSEY
Seeking out new people and new
fetishes, to boldly screw where
no one has screwed before.

CLARICE
Could you come over tonight?

MARGRETTE
I donít know.

KELSEY
What are you wearing?

STEVE
The usual.

CLARICE
You could forego washing your
hair one night.

MARGRETTE
But what about watering the
plants?

KELSEY
Shouldn't you dress appropriately?

STEVE
I take it that means no neon?

CLARICE
They're pretty sturdy. You'll
love the entree.

MARGRETTE
Just remember that I'm allergic
to quite a few things.

KELSEY
And nothing that blinks. That
shirt you wore to the Christmas
party sent most of accounting
into seizures.

STEVE
I said I was sorry. The volume
control knob fell off.

CLARICE
Can you come over at about 7:30?

MARGRETTE
I'll try.

KELSEY
Remember that photostatic bulb
when you dress. The louder your
clothing, the more it spins.

STEVE
Do you know where I can get a
new one? My fall wardrobe
killed it.

CLARICE
Don't try, Margrette. Do.

MARGRETTE
I'm not into that Zen-stuff.

KELSEY
And remember that color wheel I
gave you.

STEVE
Hey! Muave and fuschia go
great together!

CLARICE
I need you there, Margrette. I
need your support.

MARGRETTE
I'll be there. I hope.

KELSEY
Okay, seeya!

STEVE
Seeya!

CLARICE
You'll have fun, trust me!

MARGRETTE
I do trust you. Usually regret-
fully.

Margrette returns to her typing.

INT. APARTMENTS-VARIOUS-EARLY EVENING

(NOTE: The apartments used are Kelsey's, Margrette's,
and Steve and Clarice's.)

Kelsey is in the shower, shampooing.

Margrette is in the bathroom, putting on make-up.

Clarice splashes some cologne on Steve. When she
leaves, he dabs some off.

Kelsey is looks in his closet for something
normal.  His closet is filled with neons.

Margrette tries on a few things, then settles on a
tasteful peasant's dress.

Steve looks in the mirror. He is a fashion disaster.

STEVE
CLARICE!

Kelsey looks in the mirror.

KELSEY
Hide your women, Earthling!

Margrette sprinkles some water on her plants.

MARGRETTE
See my babies later! I won't
be gone long.

Clarice puts out a tray of food as Steve finishes
spiking the punch.

CLARICE
Ready?

STEVE
Ready!

EXT. COUPLE'S APARTMENT-KELSEY/MARGRETTE-NIGHT

Kelsey and Margrette drive up in their cars. Each
cuts the other off before they park. When they get
out, they collide into each other at the door. Kelsey
opens the door for her; she enters. Kelsey closes
the door as he enters.

INT. COUPLE'S APARTMENT-THE FOOD

Kelsey grabs some chips as he passes the tray. Clarice
and Margrette hug lightly. Steve shakes her hand.
Steve pours two glasses of punch.

CLARICE
Margrette, this is Kelsey.
Kelsey, Margrette.

He shakes her hand vigorously.

KELSEY
Mommy dress you?

STEVE
No; my girlfriend did.

KELSEY
Conclusive proof that only males
suffer from color blindness.

Steve punches Kelsey, who cringes. Margrette takes
a glass of punch as she and Clarice head to the
kitchen.

CLARICE
Chicken okay?

MARGRETTE
Baked?

CLARICE
Of course. For-us, anyway.
Steve put barbecue sauce on his
and Kelsey's; guys need to cover
everything with something.

They smile. Margrette takes a sip of her punch.

SAME SCENE, LATER

The guys are cleaning the table. The girls are making
sure the place is clean.

STEVE
What time did you tell the rest
of the guests to show up?

CLARICE
They should have arrived already.

SAME SCENE, LATER

Clarice and Margrette are playing cards and sipping
punch. Steve is on the computer. Kelsey is looking
at an invitation.

KELSEY
Today's the 21st, right?

MARGRETTE
No, it's the 14th.

STEVE
What does it say on the cards?

CLARICE
The 14th, silly.

KELSEY
Not quite.

Margrette looks over Kelsey's shoulder.

MARGRETTE
He's right.

STEVE
Does that mean I'm not the
silly one?

CLARICE
This time.

KELSEY
But what about all this food?

MARGRETTE
You could store it until next
week.

STEVE
No; it wouldn't survive.

CLARICE
I'm going to have to call the
party off, you know.

KELSEY
I should hope not.

MARGRETTE
How many people were supposed
to show up?

STEVE
Only twenty or so. We wanted
to celebrate the release tomorrow.
Mostly managers and select staff.

CLARICE
I've got so many calls to make.

KELSEY
Why not just do a mass e-mail-
ing?

MARGRETTE
Given that all of our people
do have an address, that would
be a very efficient way to take
care of this mess.

STEVE
And anyone who ignored the mail
probably ignored the invitation
as well.

CLARICE
Okay, well, now what?

KELSEY
Seeya at the courts in the
morning?

MARGRETTE
And I have my plants to worry
about.

STEVE
Could you stay for just a bit?

Clarice feels the cards in her hand.

CLARICE
A quick game of poker? I'll
start you both with a $50.

Steve glares at Clarice; she responds with a shrug
and a half-grin. Kelsey and Margrette look at each
other.

KELSEY
Sounds like it could be fun.

MARGRETTE
You did say that my plants were
sturdy, correct?

STEVE
But you have to eat and drink;
it would be a shame to let all
of this go to waste.

CLARICE
Shall we go to the dining table?

Kelsey and Margrette sip their punch as they adjourn
to the dining table.

SAME SCENE, LATER

Kelsey has a few white chips and a full cup in front
of him. Steve and Clarice are running out of chips,
but they at least have several different colors and
some punch left. Margrette has a large collection
going on, and is refilling her cup.

CLARICE
And just what did you plan to
do with your winnings?

MARGRETTE
A vacation. I have the time
coming up.

STEVE
To Vegas, I'll bet.

KELSEY
Hopefully better than you are
tonight.

CLARICE
I hope you have fun, Margrette.

MARGRETTE
Thank you.

STEVE
Have you thought about investing?

KELSEY
I have this program you could
look at....

Margrette shuffles. Steve cuts. Margrette deals.
Everyone looks at their cards and puts something in
the pot. Cards are returned and dealt. As the betting
goes around the table, Kelsey uses his last chip and
folds. Eventually, Steve and Clarice send in their
last chips.

STEVE
I call.

All hands are revealed. Kelsey has nothing; Steve
has a pair of eights; Clarice has a pair of nines;
Margrette has three deuces.

KELSEY
Time to go home, before I really
start losing.

MARGRETTE
And before I stop winning.

CLARICE
Just a moment. Don't you owe
us at least a chance to get our
money back?

STEVE
Besides, we still have all this
food and drink.

Kelsey puts on his jacket and heads for the door.

KELSEY
I've been working on the food,
and Margrette's been working
on the drink.

MARGRETTE
Good punch, by the way.

CLARICE
It's an old family recipe.

STEVE
With an added kick.

KELSEY
Well, I've got to go.

Margrette looks at the deck, and rifles through it.

MARGRETTE
We could play for clothes.

Kelsey and Steve look at her strangely; Clarice gets
a bag for Kelsey.

CLARICE
If you must, Kelsey. You'll
bring a check tomorrow morning?

STEVE
Margrette, are you drunk?

KELSEY
I hope so.

MARGRETTE
I've been wanting to play that
variant since Catholic school.
I mean, I've played Truth or
Dare, but....

CLARICE
Uh, Steve.

STEVE
I have sisters. No problem
here.

KELSEY
No way I can lose here. Even
if I lose my shirt, I know at
the girls'll lose theirs.

Kelsey starts to take off his jacket, then quickly
puts it back on.

MARGRETTE
So can we do it?

CLARICE
With one condition.

Clarice pulls out twelve red chips and gives everyone
three.

CLARICE
I'm going to add a twist for
my own modesty's sake, okay?

STEVE
Sure.

KELSEY
What's with the red chips?

MARGRETTE
"Extra clothes"?

CLARICE
Sort of. Any time you need an
extra piece of clothing, hand
one of the red chips to someone
of the opposite sex and say
"Truth" or "Dare." Okay?

STEVE
What does everyone say about
taking a quick break, say, five
minutes?

KELSEY
Back in a sec.

Kelsey races to his car with the doggy bag. Margrette
goes to the bathroom. Steve pulls Clarice to him.

STEVE
You've been trying to find a
way to pull her out of her shell.

Clarice looks up at Steve, smiling faintly.

CLARICE
Can we put her back in?

SAME SCENE, LATER

Everyone takes a sip from their cups.

Almost religiously, Kelsey takes the cards, shuffles them,
and hands them to Margrette, who cuts them and passes
them back to Kelsey, who deals them.

KELSEY
Seven-card no-peek.

STEVE
Cute.

After everyone has their seven cards, they begin to
turn over their cards. Kelsey is never even in the
running, and Clarice doesn't do better than a pair
of sevens. Margrette is working on a soon-busted
flush, and Steve gets a straight. Kelsey takes off
his jacket, Clarice reaches into her dress and pulls
out her bra, and Margrette gives Kelsey a chip.

MARGRETTE
It's too early to take anything
off. Truth.

KELSEY
Okay. (beat) Where and when
were you deflowered?

She smiles.

MARGRETTE
I hope the questions get more
interesting. At a hotel, with my
then-boyfriend, when I was seven-
teen.

Kelsey just looks skyward. 

Clarice takes the deck, shuffles, deals.

CLARICE
Stud poker, guys.

Everyone looks at their cards. Steve puts down a
pair, Kelsey a pair, Clarice a pair. Margrette puts
down three fours. Kelsey takes off his shirt; Clarice
takes off her shoes. Steve hands a chip to Clarice.

STEVE
Truth.

CLARICE
Okay, time to squirm. How many
before me?

Steve thinks a moment.

STEV
Three.

CLARICE
You told me two.

STEVE
I forgot about a girl in Hawaii.

CLARICE
During the office trip?

STEVE
Before I met you.

CLARICE
You met me that trip!

STEVE
We were still fighting!

Clarice is not happy. Steve takes the deck.

STEVE
One-eyed jacks are wild.

He deals. Everyone looks at their hands, puts a few
aside, gets a redraw, and re-arranges their hands.
Margrette puts down a pair, as does Steve. Clarice
puts down a three-of-a-kind, which is beat by Kelsey's
three jacks. She winks at him as she adds a pair
to it. Steve takes off his shoes, Margrette takes
hers off, and Kelsey hands Margrette a chip.

KELSEY
Truth.

MARGRETTE
Okay. Have you ever had any
gay encounter? Besides just
showing "it" off, I mean.
Actual physical stuff.

KELSEY
Yeah. One. Me and a guy in
junior high. We kissed. On
the lips. I hated it; I couldn't
get rid of him until summer.

STEVE
No more sleep-overs, Kelsey.

Everyone smiles, except Kelsey. Margrette grabs the
deck and deals.

MARGRETTE
Red-line express. If it's red,
it's wild.

Clarice puts down a hand of solid black; Steve puts
down a hand of solid red. Margrette removes her
stockings; Kelsey removes his shoes. Clarice hands
Steve a chip.

CLARICE
Truth. I'm not going to do a
dare if I can avoid it.

KELSEY
Wimp.

Steve slaps Kelsey, who cringes.

STEVE
Alright. How many before me?

CLARICE
Four.

STEVE
You told me three.

CLARICE
So that slut on the trip was
catch-up?

STEVE
Guess not.

Kelsey quickly grabs the deck and deals.

KELSEY
Midnight express. All cards
are black that are wild.

Kelsey just puts his hand at the bottom of the deck.
Steve and Clarice have a pair of red deuces and three
black cards. Margrette has a pair of aces and three
black cards. Kelsey takes off his socks and Steve
takes off his shirt. Clarice hands Steve a chip.

CLARICE
Truce. I mean, truth.

STEVE
Okay. Why the fourth?

MARGRETTE
Do you need a lawyer? I may
be able to arrange something.

CLARICE
We aren't talking the basketball
court, Steve.

KELSEY
You could actually win then,
Steve.

Steve glares at Kelsey. Kelsey grins back.

CLARICE
Why? I was mad at you. I was
hoping to find someone besides
you to fly back with, and things
got out of hand. He quit
afterwards. And the slut?

KELSEY
Save it for next hand; use a
chip!

STEVE
Consider it a freebie: First,
keep in mind that we weren't
talking at the time, so I didn't
know about your past. Second,
well, I had been seeing her a
lot before that flight. That
was our swan song.

CLARICE
We need to talk.

STEVE
Later? In the meantime, deal!

She blinks, then grabs the deck Kelsey hands her.

CLARICE
Nice and simple. Low-ball.
Good luck, Kelsey!

Steve puts down a eight-high hand. Kelsey just takes
off his pants.

MARGRETTE
Flesh!

CLARICE
Nice boxers!

KELSEY
Why aren't you taking anything
off?

MARGRETTE
Come on, Clarice, a dare for
the boy?

CLARICE
Okay. Kelsey: Dare.

They both hand him a chip. He looks at Steve. Steve
looks at Clarice. She looks back at him. He looks
back at Kelsey.

STEVE
I think I can live with it.

KELSEY
YES! You know what I want!

MARGRETTE
You are so two-dimensional.

Kelsey looks Margrette up and down.

KELSEY
And you are so three-dimensional.

Clarice looks at Margrette.

MARGRETTE
Let me lead, okay?

CLARICE
Okay.

They lean into each other. They hug. They lean
towards each other.

CLOSE ON GUYS

Kelsey is ecstatic. Steve hides his eyes. Mostly.

CLOSE ON GIRLS

They pull apart. Steve stares until Clarice throws
the deck at him. Steve barely manages to shuffle.

STEVE
Baseball. Nine-card no-peek,
threes and nines wild, fours get
you another card.

He deals an extra card for the deck and Margrette
starts turning over her cards. End tally: She has
a flush, Kelsey a full house, Steve four-of-a-kind,
and Clarice a royal flush. Margrette reaches in and
pulls out her bra.

MARGRETTE
And here they come!

KELSEY
I don't think so.

STEVE
Dare, Margrette.

MARGRETTE
Both of you?

KELSEY
Um, yeah.

MARGRETTE
Okay. Kiss. Just like we did.

STEVE 
At least youíve done this before.

Kelsey just shrugs.

KELSEY
Guess I'm leading.

They hug. They lean into each other.

CLOSE ON GIRLS

The girls are shocked, then they giggle.

CLOSE ON GUYS

They are pulling apart.

KELSEY
He needs Listerine.

The girls laugh. Margrette grabs the deck and deals.

MARGRETTE
Okay, studdette poker. Queens
are wild.

KELSEY 
Thatís a surprise.

Margrette folds and removes her slip. She gets up
to get some food. Steve shows his pair of deuces
and takes off his pants; he's down to just his boxers.
Clarice shows her full house to Kelsey, who hands
his last chip to Clarice.

MARGRETTE
Clarice, I'm allergic to all
of this.

CLARICE
Are you sure? Yeah, it all has
cheese or milk. Okay, Kelsey,
dare?

KELSEY
Uh, sure.

CLARICE
Okay, go through a drive-thru
and get six hamburgers, two with
no ketchup, mustard, or pickles,
okay?

KELSEY
In just my boxers?

CLARICE
Good point. Okay, I'll let you
have your shirt. When you come
back.

KELSEY
I'll be going through the drive-
thru in my boxers?

CLARICE
Basically, yeah. Your chip.

Steve and Kelsey look at each other, then Kelsey runs
to his car. Margrette goes to the bathroom. Clarice
and Steve start cleaning.

STEVE
You two almost out of clothes?

CLARICE
Yeah. I think we're both down
to just the dresses. That, and
my slip.

STEVE
And only Margrette and I have
chips left. I figure two more
hands.

CLARICE
Sounds about right. Any regrets?

STEVE
No, not really. You?

CLARICE
No.


EXT. McDONALD'S-NIGHT-CLOSE SHOT-KELSEY

Kelsey pulls into the drive-thru.

ORDER-TAKER
Welcome to McDonald's. Would
you like a value meal tonight?

KELSEY
No thanks. Six hamburgers, two
plain.

ORDER-TAKER
Okay. I have eight hamburgers,
two just meat and bread. Would
you like fries with that?

KELSEY
No. No fries, and six hamburgers
total.

ORDER-TAKER
Sorry, sir. I'll have your
order at the window.

Kelsey begins to pull forward when he sees something
on the floor. He pulls up an old shirt and puts it
on. He pulls forward. The cashier takes his money
and gives him order and the change. As soon as he
is gone, the cashier turns red, then smiles. The
window closes as she tells another worker what
happened. They both crack up.

INT. THEIR APARTMENT-NIGIIT-MED. SHOT-MARGRETTE

Margrette is coming out of the bathroom as a car drives
up. Kelsey runs the food in. Kelsey puts his shirt
on and sits down.

KELSEY
I am never playing poker again
as long as I live.

Kelsey picks up the deck and starts to deal.

KELSEY
Okay, non-royals wild, aces are
ones, and royals count as ten.

He sees his cards and takes his shirt back off; he
fumes. The other three put their hands down at the
same time. Clarice removes her slip, and Steve gives
Margrette his last chip.

STEVE
Dare.

MARGRETTE
Go into the bedroom and throw
your boxers into this room.
Put on a pair of her panties and
bra. They'll only count as one
piece.

He disappears into the bedroom and the boxers land
in the middle of the group.

KELSEY
I'm sorta glad I don't live with
my girlfriend now.

CLARICE
You don't have a girlfriend!

KELSEY
Wanna change that?

Steve comes out, dressed in Clarice's underwear.
Clarice grabs the deck and deals.

CLARICE
Straights automatically lose.

They look at their hands. Margrette hands Kelsey
her chip. The other three show their hands. Clarice
has an ace; Steve has a flush, and Kelsey has a royal
flush. Clarice removes her dress, and Steve removes
his ensemble. They sit uncomfortably naked.

KELSEY
Anything?

MARGRETTE
Anything.

MARGRETTE
Put on your bra then take off the
dress.

She does so.

MARGRETTE
One more hand?

KELSEY
Clarice, if you would do the
honors?

CLARICE
Okay.

She picks up the cards and deals.

CLARICE
Seven card no-peek.

KELSEY
Interesting choice.

She flips over a card. Kelsey beats it with an ace.
Margrette beats it with a pair of deuces. Kelsey
gets stuck but beats it with his pair of deuces, ace
high. Margrette beats it with a straight. He beats
it with flush. He has no more cards. She flips over
a three, a four, then another three. Kelsey starts
to pull his boxers off, but Margrette stops him.

MARGRETTE
You guys want to go get dressed?

They smile at each other.

CLARICE
No. But we'll leave you two
kids alone.

They leave, holding hands.

MARGRETTE
One final dare?

KELSEY
Sure, I guess.

MARGRETTE
I want you to let me remove
your boxers any way I want, then
I want you to take off my bra.

KELSEY
okay.

She reaches into a drawer behind her and pulls out
a pair of scissors. She starts toward Kelsey.

KELSEY
Just be careful with those
things, okay?

She snips him down to a loincloth, then removes the
back patch, then cuts throlgh the waistband. Kelsey
stands before her naked. He reaches down and unhooks
her bra. She pulls him down.

MARGRETTE
Any dares for me?

INT. BEDROOM-NIGHT-MED. SHOT-STEVE/CLARICE

Steve is holding Clarice. He rolls out of bed, landing
in a crouched position. He grabs Clarice's hand.

STEVE
So, will you marry me or what?

CLARICE
Wouldn't one of us have to quit
or something?

STEVE
Hardly. We're both managers in
different departments. There's
no conflict of interest possible.

CLARICE
But why  now?

STEVE
Because I think if we can survive tonight
we can survive anything.

CLARICE
But what about our family?
Our friends?

STEVE
Our family has been begging us
to get married for so long it's
not funny. And our friends have
have a pool going.

CLARIC!
Then I guess I could. But could
you ask me again in the morning.

STEVE
But you could chlnge your mind.

CLARICE
Yes, but then I wouldn't have
to tell our kid that Daddy
proposed to Mommy after a night
of spiked punch, strip poker,
and wild sex

STEVE
But we haven't had---

She pulls him into the the bed.

INT. LIVING ROOM-COUCH-MORNING

There are two pairs of legs coming from behind the
couch.

Margrette pops up. Sheís holding her head; she is
disoriented and in pain She looks around.

She sees that she is next to a body. A male body.
One that is still asleep.

MARGRETTE
What did I did last night?

She flips Kelsey over. 

MARGRETTE
He's not wearing a condom. I
hope I don't have to marry him.
I need something to drink.
Something stiff.

Kelsey moans. She looks down.

MARGRETTE
I've already had enough, thanks.

She takes a good swig of the first bottle she grabs.

She quickly dresses then gets out of the apartment.

Kelsey rolls over just - Clarice comes out in a robe.

CLARICE
Honey, Kelsey stayed over.
Should I wake him for breakfast?

Steve comes out in a robe carrying a camera.

STEVE
Not just yet.

Steve starts shooting Kelsey. He then rolls him over
and gets a few more shots. He then covers him with
a sheet.

Kelsey wakes up.

KELSEY
This is worse than that frat
party, isn't it?

STEVE
Yeah. At leas hen you wearing
a loincloth. And I didn't have
a camera ready

KELSEY
Oh, great. Iím calling basketball 
off this morning.

STEVE
So you admit Iím better?

KELSEY
Hardly. Get the ball. I'll
see you on the court in five
minutes.

Kelsey gets up; the sheet comes off. He walks out
the door. A woman SCREAMS (OS). Kelsey comes back
in.

KELSEY
Just as soon as I find my clothes!

Clarice smiles at Steve, who returns the smile.

CLARICE
No, you can't keep him.

STEVE
But, Mommy...!

Kelsey starts to put on his pants, and 
falls over.  Unconscious.

CLARICE
Your turn to dress the baby.

STEVE
I did it last time; it's your
turn!

FADE OUT.